If I Told You Everything

by Multiplexor

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04:29
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05:41
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04:09
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05:30
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05:39

about

Since I can remember, people have told me that they can't hear what I'm saying. With the help of some microphones and a test of my patience, I’ve made a record in an attempt to finally say what’s on my mind and to play what I like.

I sincerely appreciate your time and support. I poured a lot into this record and am so excited to finally let it out.

credits

released May 31, 2011

All songs written, performed, and engineered by Kyle Coleman
Recorded at 301: January 15 - May 20, 2011

© 2011 Multiplexor

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about

Multiplexor Nashville, Tennessee

Born the solo project of multi-instrumentalist Kyle Coleman in 2008, Multiplexor eventually enlisted close friends PJ Elias and Nathan Stone as its rhythm section upon the release of the 2011 debut album, If I Told You Everything.

The band's second LP, Some New Air, reads like a collection of undelivered letters to lovers in the strange places between lost and found.
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Track Name: 42 Execute
I hesitated for too long
to write down all my bitter songs
and turn them into something you’d believe in
so the better part of the last three years
has been shuffling feet and borrowed gear
so instead of asking how
I’ll say “it’s time to make this count”
so when I grow up, there might be
something to remember

am I really such a burden?
am I just too quick to tear?
I’m so through with saying nothing
though I’m sure no one will care
here’s a monument I built to me
it stands all by itself
it’s my alibi for bloodshot eyes
to find asylum on your shelf
Track Name: Magnetic Field
if this is grounds for conversation
treading lightly like it’s broken glass
I’m always hiding in the closet
waiting for the storm to pass
and I tried to stop myself because I knew
that I would fail you once again
so I will burn an incandescent beam
into my brain, until the lights go out
and everything looks the same

this song is about today and how
I'm not growing up, just growing older
she thought I never had a thing to say
you should have seen how
she reacted when I told her
"peace, don't come close to me
I'll get too comfortable if it's easy"

I've been injecting lies into my veins
and staying up all night
because even if you're gone
I still want you [to be] in my daydreams

for some time now
I've been living for rainy days
I know it's upside-down
but I'm not looking for a job that pays
and I can't tell if I'm ever
really making sense
still it hurts like hell to think
I'm doing it at your expense

I'm only on the fence because you built it
and no one is safe
with a person half as jealous as me
there's nothing to say
for such a magnetic inconsistency
Track Name: Inflation
out of breath again
and I’m dealing with it on my own
we were talking it out
but suddenly I get the dialtone

your perception of me is a little unfair
but you’re right: I get down
every time you change your hair
and I’ve found that it’s easier to sing
than admit that I’m afraid of everything

so when you got back in your car
there were no more words to say
today I don’t know where you are
but I know it can’t be far away

lately I just want to go to sleep
rather than stay awake through promises
that you won’t let me keep
forsake, forewarn, forgive, forget, for what?
you know I’d be more careful if I were you
because we know envy’s eyes don’t ever shut

what’s with this water in my head?
my only choice: to drown you out
you said I was the needle to your thread
so how did you get so unwound?

calculated hesitation, never-ending conversation
it’s your logic that will leave me on my knees
repeating all your methods, let me lie with all my breath it’s only jealousy if someone disagrees
polynomial expression, self-inflicted great depression
all you have to do is play the numbers right
because if everyone’s acquainted
you could always be re-painted
bait and hook, assuming sympathy will bite

you’ve got to raise the prices on this
it’s only expensive things that they will miss
Track Name: Solar Eclipse
solar eclipse the night came fast
on the day you moved away
but you never called, no you never looked back
I guess you were never meant to stay

I buried the pictures and my thoughts
in the grave beneath your bed
I really thought I knew you better than
even the mess inside my head

but when your heart turns to dust
it’s just a matter of time until it hits the rest of us
and when your heart takes a turn for the worse
all of your new friends will say
it’s none of their concern

son of God, why did you speak those words?
they’re always beating inside my chest
you see I’m trying to love you with all my mind
before you put my soul to rest

but when your heart turns to dust
it’s just a matter of time until it hits the rest of us
and when your heart takes a turn for the worse
all of your new friends will say
it’s none of their concern

my eyes are filled with blues and grays
until the tired frame that holds them decays
only you could move the waves
and block out the sun for days
Track Name: Doors and How They Slam in My Face
I woke up this morning with blood on my hands
and ever since I’ve been wondering
how this affects my plans
for going out tonight
and not thinking about you
and the only thing I have left
not ever knowing what to do

of all the places she can go
she would never take a step in my direction
maybe we should call this off
or maybe you could call me back
but that’s too much to ask

as for today, I’m driving the same streets
and preferring them to your company
and after a while, my life becomes so routine
my friends, they keep me sane
so I can write again

my stomach’s turning
when I see you on the stage
it’s like you’re singing every word right to me
now if only I could act my age and
forget the winter that we walked downtown
then you went and let me down

as for today, I’m driving the same streets
and preferring them to your company
and after a while, my life becomes so routine
my friends, they keep me sane
so I can write again
will I write again?

I hope you drown in that city
they won’t know your name
reputation supplementing
reasons that you came

you won’t hear me out
you magnify my doubts
Track Name: If Then Else
before the phone rang for the last time
I looked at your picture; I stuttered to myself
like a filament at the end of its life
I said something I couldn’t believe

you redefined the consequence
of believing in your innocence
ten reasons we should not exist
I get myself to sleep with
“it’s a figure of speech
she will change her mind”

Jesus, you saved me from death and the flames
but I’ll never completely be rid of the blame
for the hopeless and the hypocrites
whose hearts are softer than mine
but you do it every time

and you came into my heart
now we sleep our weeks apart
[as if sleep could split weeks into parts]
and I shamefully dismiss
all the reasons for our first kiss
because back then I couldn’t tell
that your excuses are a bottomless well
from which I drink and I drink
until I sink and I sink and still

if I told you everything
you would not be questioning
things I did to keep you from wondering
what all this was for

peace, don’t come close to me
I’m not ready to fall in love
with anyone who doesn’t speak your name
I’m just short of breath
and sleight...so sleight of hand
Track Name: September on Your Apartment Floor
my mind is made up
my mind is made up of histories
that no one’s ever seen
my mind is made up
my mind is made up of chemicals
and a sense of urgency
each disaster travels faster
through the splintered pathways of my brain
I’m waiting (I’m always waiting for it)
the summer came and froze again
you let me (you let me lie with all my breath)

put your weapons down and pray for rain
if you hear this sound, then it was not in vain
when we made a promise
to prevent ourselves from feeling bitter
like we always want to be with everything

this--I know--is the reason that I’ll always be alone
and tonight--I’m sure--is another
I will need to spend at home

but somewhere inside
I wish deeply that my pride
would let me arrogantly step out of my bounds
and pretend I never needed to be found

Christ, please guard my heart!
eventually--I’m sure--I’ll need it
but for now I’m undefeated
and I hate what has become of me
in the driver’s seat when my head tilts back
and all I have to say is
“hey God, I’m sorry, but I never loved you back”
Track Name: Expand and Contract
defensive in your speech, so swift
and that paralyzing eyebrow lift
a parachute that never, ever fails to see the bad in me
yet you choose your words reluctantly
all your monologues are broken like bad news

the graveyard and the paradigm
shift to form a perfect line
that facilitates the continental drift

my lungs were not designed to breathe you all once
so, if I suffocate, at least I had a decent run

expand and contract, distance and contact
the phone lines and the hemispheres collide
a season of snow, another seventeen below
I’m setting my intentions aside

my organ donor status
I’m as sure of as my real name
I mean...I’d give them away gladly
if I just knew from whom they came

expand and contract
I’m substituting hopelessness for fact
the ocean floor gets swept under the rug
another winter through fall
I’m like a clock upon a canyon wall
I’ll keep counting until Jesus pulls the plug
Track Name: Commentary
my seat belt’s worn a stripe across
my favorite collared shirt
but there’s no use for a battle scar
I got from showing up for work

and the movement of your lips is like a
chord I can’t compose
but my depth perception teaches me
not to get too close
there’s no such thing as forgiveness
when you’re thinking in reverse
it’s like trying to undo your deeds
in the back seat of the hearse

I try to understand why I’ll never be
the kind of man you wanted me to be
I try to hold this grudge
even though you always say
you won’t judge if I say what I’m thinking

the contemplation’s warranted
and my brain has given up
you see, my logic just cannot compete
with what’s been swirling in this cup

I try to understand why I’ll never be
the kind of man you wanted me to be
I try to hold this grudge
even though you always say
you won’t judge if I say what I’m thinking

I know that we’re not friends anymore
but some day I’ll make this up to you
the blister and burn of the past three years
is enough to erase my memory
please forget me

I try to understand why I’ll never be
the kind of man you wanted me to be
I try to hold this grudge
even though you always say
you won’t judge if I say what I’m thinking

it’s what I’m thinking
Track Name: My Decline
the keys to my heart, I used to keep inside a box
I shared them with you
but now you’ve gone and changed your locks
you said that you need
a change of heart to match your head
but I wasn’t prepared for either not to be flowing red

these pictures of you, I wish that I could re-create
so carefully drawn
but with a difference in the paint
staying true to the greens
and pouring out in blue and white
but those cardinal tones
should I omit, would it be right?

could I begin to know the consequence of my decline
into a fit of selfishness?
it’s time for me to wake up and smell the end of this
because you’re saying over and over
“darling, you are too much, too little for me”

the sound of your voice--it used to feel just like a friend
but recently I’ve noticed there’s more to comprehend
you love to lie to yourself and say it keeps you up at night
you don’t need me anymore
I know it can’t be true, but it just might

could I begin to know the consequence of my decline
because I blame myself for this?
it’s time for you to wake up and see things present-tense
because I’m saying over and over
“please don’t come looking for me”

“I’ve tried twice before to let you know, to let you in
but staring at the floor isn’t a form of conversation”
so, on your closed-up door
I am leaving you a note that reads
“when we get back to shore,
I swear I’m going to hold your hand”

so, if you think that my heart’s too hard
then I will stop the car and tell you why I should not exist
(you won’t hear me out)
I want to tell you it’s all okay
that we could stay the same
you’re understanding, but your reasoning is
“because I’m not looking for you”
Track Name: No Stairs
fourteen minutes made a way to see right through you
and run from what we saw
a feeble parallel to watching someone break or bend the law
you never notice all the colors that I frequently refract
so I’ll let this song become the bittersweet revenge with a melody to distract

so here’s the part where I admit that I’ve been empty for so long
propelled by a breath that I saved for the last song
I just can’t help but call it aftershock
from when you were a red light and I was a roadblock

I’m lying to get what I want, leaking the blood from my heart
trying to find a way out is like climbing on man-made, level ground

there are no stairs inside my house, and, to be completely honest
I was that mouse playing hide and seek and got too brave
don’t know a greeting from a farewell wave and
“character flaw” is a gracious euphemism

Jesus said he wants me even when I turn away
but I can’t promise anything even when I turn and look back on that day

if I told you everything, would you try to understand?
I tried to stop myself because I knew I would fail you once again

hey God, I’m sorry but I’ve been a liar for twenty-three years
and you must be so tired of me just counting the days
on the fingers you gave me
why are you listening and how could you save me?
I’m going to start it all over again

so here’s the part where I admit I hesitated for too long finding clever ways to put your name into one more song
I just can’t help but call it aftershock
from when you were a shift
and I was a caps lock